Been really down this weekend. Got my dream job that I've been wanting for two years, only to have to turn it down because the benefits don't cater to individuals with families. Then finding out people I called friends blocked me on social media because? My house is a wreck. My car is a wreck. Want to hide and hibernate. Wasn't eating. Wasn't drinking water. Wasn't taking care of myself. Laying in bed.
And now I feel really shitty about the way I handled all of it. Life is hard sometimes. And sometimes it's really not that hard. Sometimes I'm really dramatic.
And SOMETIMES instead of beating yourself up about feelings first and then how you handle them and how you also weren't productive and that must mean you're a bad mom and that must mean your daughter is going to be raised around an unhealthy mom, etc. until my ANXIETY IS THROUGH THE ROOF AND I WANT TO CONTINUE TO RUN AND HIDE....
Maybe I should breathe and realize that this week just started and it's fresh and new, and I control my future and feelings and the way I handle them. I can't change the past. But I'm gonna rock the hell out of my future. I'm going to take care of myself. I'm going to figure out what I need to be happy and healthy, and I'm going to actively do that, and if I don't get around to doing everything, I'm going to have grace with myself. Because moms do a lot. And it's okay to have a bad weekend. But thinking that means you have to have a bad week is so silly. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and ROCK THIS SHIT! Strong. Mama.
