There's nothing worse than someone saying they don't want to be with you romantically because "you're too good." It makes me wish I didn't respect myself or that I could just get shit-faced, drop a bunch of acid, and sleep around with people, cuz Lord knows it'd probably be fun.
I feel like I'm standing up for a cause by being a "good girl," but for what reason? What point am I trying to make? It's not like I'm super religious or anything anymore.
I'm fine with standing out for these reasons. I'm obviously going to. But I hate being turned down because of the very things for which I feel like I should be appreciated.
Sometimes I want to do something really shocking just to make people believe that I'm not a good, naiive girl, that I can't be controlled. That I can be a mean person or a slut or a wild child or make everyone feel uncomfortable. To make people realize that I won't always stand in the corner I'm put in, I won't stay where you leave me, and I'll be my own damn person, however I feel right then. FUCK!
Get in my way, I dare you. I'm ready to fight.
Why do I feel this way?
I'll be tough. I'll be classy. I"ll be strong. I won't fight back.
I can't tell you what I will or won't do. I don't know what I want to do, but I'm okay with it.
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