I am down today. Very down.
All the songs I hear are reminders of when I didn't know to be sad. I tripped over a rolling chair. My coworker cussed out my boss. I'm out of cigarettes. I have to take a shower when I get home, when I really need to get to Starbucks to study so that I can be done by tonight.
I just want to be held. I want to draw words and pictures on my sisters back while we're supposed to be sleeping (she'll never guess this one). I want my dad to put me in pj's again cuz I fell asleep in the car. I want to take back the time that I got mad at him when he did this - when we both realized I was getting older. I want to ride home listening to the Beatles with my dad after church and take my tights off in the car, hanging my legs out of the window (because only daddy let me do that.) I want to plan to run away, but never wake up when I was supposed to. I want to chase lightning bugs. I don't want to grow old.
Hormone's are a horrible thing.
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