You know.  I'd like to know what I'll think when I look back two years from now on this time.  If I'll say I should've done everything within my power to be all right and forget.  Or if I'll applaud myself for waiting on something.  I don't know what I'm waiting on.  I can't convince myself that it will all be better in two years.  I mean, it will be better.  But I think a piece is genuinely missing.  It feels odd to just subconsciously hand out something that I hold so dear to me.  Do I think it's something to be chased--what left me? Do I think it's better in the long run?  I can mostly honestly say, "No."  Does that make it any easier?  Absolutely not.  I don't want to forget about it.  I don't wish it hadn't happened.  I don't know what would make it better.  I just don't know.