Disection of a Habit

I have a love/hate relationship with recording. It's the only time I can think of when the business side of me and the creative side of me are fused.

I dread it sometimes because I am such a perfectionist. I can be a real pill when it comes to recording sometimes. I won't settle on less than perfect if I think I can do better (unless it's the imperfection that makes the part perfect--I will admit that there are occasional exceptions). I get very frustrated with myself for taking too much time sometimes to get something perfect. Then I get frustrated if people say "It sounds fine!" because I take it as me being the only person that's really willing to put in the time and perseverence to create something just right and deliver that "it" that makes the album worth listening to after it is no longer just a new record. Why make something that's just ok when you can make something that's great? I'm literally just a pill sometimes. I apologize.

However, I can also be a real peach, a gem even. I like playing around in the studio; it's guaranteed that on at least 1 out of every 5 songs I record, I will write some instrumental-sounding harmony "ooo" pad part. This is my niche in recording-adding little vocal instrumental-esque hooks or pads that fill in the sound. THIS is why I love recording. Being able to experiment. It's not every day you get to harmonize with yourself and really compose anything vocally on a real scale.

I also like singing through pipes and making alien noises in down time.

I also like being completely by myself where no one can see me. I prefer the lights dim. I prefer being barefoot. I prefer the right side of my headphones off. I prefer not being able to hear myself very loud; otherwise, I scare myself.

I prefer as few people in the studio as possible. But it was fun last night, being there with tons of people.

It felt so good to record last night with one of my bands, Engine. I can't wait to hear everything. Vocally, I've gotten less pure, but more ballsy over the past year. I'm anxious to hear how much that shows on this record. I wish I sang like I do in the concerts in my car.

Let's Make Something to Do and Remember

I’ve been trying to think of any possible excuse/justification I could come up with to take off work tomorrow. Why, you might ask? Because I feel like it.

I have an idea for tonight. I want to go somewhere, take pictures. Maybe Wallace Lake (as in the actual swamp) or the dam. At night time. In garb. Bare feet. What have you. Suffer a little for the sake of art and creating it. What a martyr. (No, but it really will be cold). Or I want to start a fire on the riverfront and paint myself like an Indian, play with fire.

I want to explore.

I want to play Twister with real paint on the board. I want to ruin my clothes. I want paint in between my toes.

I want to stay up until the sunrise.

And then I want to sleep in an old, forgotten field. I know just the one.

I promise I’ll apply for jobs tomorrow if I can just be off so that I can live a little tonight.

I feel creative juices flowing.

And unfortunately, I feel trapped in a place where I can only write about them.

Here's to trying.

And here's to an $1100 outfit. Why, oh why? I know not.

Do Care

I assume that most people I'd be friends with understand that I'm either tongue-in-cheek or goofy a great deal of the time. That maybe because of that I'm hard to get close to.

But sometimes I'm very real.

I promise I do have a heart.

I care deeply when I do care.

Those things mean more to me than anything.

Passive Agressive

I have three main reactions to people that have wronged me (other than the typical "let it roll off your back" thing, which is the most popular reaction... It takes a bit to rile me up).

1. One is where someone says something mean and hurtful and I apologize. I then go in the bathroom or get in my car and cry to myself. (Secret: sometimes, if I've been crying a while, I look in the mirror and see what I look like as I'm crying. It's not pretty. Don't pretend like you haven't done that before. It's kind of comforting and entertaining all at once.)

2. Another is where I do the "angry sniff and sudden turn of the face," which basically means "F*%# you. You don't matter" or "Your opinion means nothing" or "I've officially written you off"--all horrible things that no one could interpret just from hearing a simple sniff. However, this angry sniff gesture runs in the family, unfortunately. Its power is not to be underestimated. The person who provokes this reaction will not get a confrontation. They have officially been "written off" of whatever good list on which they may have been written prior to their unforgiveable mistake--by the "sniff," I'd say it was most likely something that was completely uncalled for.

3. Lastly is a confrontation. This is the most rare of the three types. I have done this thrice in my life that I recall. Once to my sister, once to a friend, once to a coworker in Baton Rouge.

And that's it! Angry Chelsea in a nutshell. Just so you know, I performed the second reaction today to my boss. He got the first reaction last week. He's a peach.

Also, I would like to take this moment to tell you a few things that are in my purse. A day in the life. We, we so excited.

1. A water bottle full of water (to keep me hydrated).

2. Miniature bottles of hotel shampoo (because I like to steal small things that aren't really wrong to steal).

3. A wedding program (for inspiriration).

4. Lyrics to a song (to keep me dreamy).

5. Gloves.

6. Toothbrush (:)).

7. Lotion (because I never took it out).

8. Razor (I was in a rush getting ready for aforementioned wedding at a friend's house, I think? It originally had toilet paper around it; now it doesn't. Found that out this afternoon when I grated my hand).

9. External harddrive and cord (to keep me tech-savvy).

Musical Dream Talker

Major pet peeve- people who talk to themselves.

Everyone talks to themselves occasionally. I talk to myself a bit when I'm stressed out or have to work through a complicated scenario in my head. For most people, hearing themselves say their thoughts helps them remember them better and seemingly be able to make better sense of situations that are difficult to think through. This normal type of talking to onesself is not what bothers me.

What does bother me is the people who say all of their thoughts out loud, whether or not those thoughts are intelligent and difficult to think through or just random snippets of useless information. For example, my co-worker. Firstly, absolutely everything she does annoys me. When I first started working here, I walked into her office, which I was doing some work in. She kept saying things out loud and I thought she was talking to me because all of it was so clear and too loud to be talking to herself, right? I asked, "Are you talking to me?" She wasn't. I laughed off the awkwardness and my confusion and proceeded to continue my work. She kept talking. Eventually, I had a question to ask her, but I didn't want to interrupt her talking. Finally, I just interrupted her and asked the question, but she got EXTREMELY loud and talked to herself over the top of me. I stopped talking and just stared at her like a little rebellious child until she paid attention to me. That was my first experience with her. Still makes me mad. In addition to this type of ridiculous activity, she shrieks when she sneezes. She sings to herself horribly non-stop. She runs full blast, panting, down the hallways sometimes. She burps SO loud and disgusting every day on her way out of my office. And she constantly reminds me every time I walk past her office that I have an unusually loud gait. Oh thanks. Again.

Well, today, I walked past her office and she had the nerve to say (to herself, of course) "Gah, the way she walks" as I walked by. Ok, either one of those things--the statement or the talking to herself in general--would have been annoying on its own. But the fact that the insult was coupled with her mental instability just made me want to turn around and kick her and her little chair over. I cannot stand the woman! It's a problem.

This day is humorously bad, by the way.

Ok!

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and a song is playing in my head. A couple of times, I have grabbed my phone and sung the tune into it before I fell back asleep. Some of the coolest melodies are in those tunes. I wonder sometimes if everyone does that--if we have soundtracks to our dreams, and the only times we realize it is when we're awoken during REM, and it kind of echoes out. Or maybe it's that we're actually able to engage in writing music during our dreams; that we're maybe somehow consciously composing... subconciously. Isn't it odd to think that dreams can have actual music? I try to remember if the music I heard was the sound of a piano or guitar or some type of bell? Or my own sounds I make with my mouth to mimic a piano? It fascinates me.

Bonnaroo Reminiscings

Welp. Unfortunately, my $150 external harddrive with all of my pictures and music on it will not work anymore... I will be much more upset about this once it sets in.


Today, I've been reminiscing about Bonnaroo--looking up pictures (trying at least) and videos.


^^^Arcade Fire^^^ (Such an obnoxiously heartfelt show and so fun to watch)

Lil Wayne. I mean, come on!

The Strokes, of course. I just looked at the reflection of those glasses and imagined playing for that crowd. Gah. It would be amazing.

I mean, look at these! I literally can't describe how amazing that trip was. It wasn't just some shows. It was an adventure, an experience, the closest I've ever felt to dying of heatstroke, the most excited and most tired I've ever been in my life, a priceless bonding experience with a friend. I mean, really, it was the dream. I want to go back. I do. I found out that they do a live Bonnaroo stream of the shows. If I don't go back next year, I will probably take off work so that I can sit and watch it, at least, to feel a part.

Oh, and new blog idea--outfit for the day. Too bad this is like $2,500 worth of clothes. :(

Annie, Are You Ok?

Life is good. And I am happy.

I'm fine with owning Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits and keeping Smooth Criminal and Billie Jean on repeat. Just sayin. That's fine by me.

All right. And nerd science moment commences, but I PROMISE it's cool! Ok, so the above picture is an example of some brand spanking new technology called the Streak Camera (developed by MIT), which processes light at a trillion frames per second (fps). Just to put this into perspective, the human eye can only process light at 10-12 fps. Movies (which undeniably seem like continuous motion) are double our perception at 24 fps. However, WE, my friend, just developed something that is faster than the speed of light..... I mean, LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!!! The picture BELOW is literally a picture of individual light particles passing through an empty bottle of coke and bouncing off the cap..... What?!!!! My mind is blown. I don't know what all this means for us, but I feel like this is potentially more of a scientific breakthrough than it is one of photography. Ok, nerd moment is over now.